A Writer's Journey

New Blog

leilasummers — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 23:44:33 +0000

Friends, I am slowly moving this blog across to my new domain, please update your bookmarks to www.leilasummers.co.za/blog

Happy New Year

leilasummers — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 09:46:38 +0000

I can hardly believe that time has gone so quickly. It’s been a strange year for me, with decisions and dreams, and learning to let go. I have not done nearly as much work on my book as I intended, but that is going to change. Now that I have got into the rhythm of my new writing job, I am going to put aside time to finish my book and get it out there. I know it’s been a long wait for everyone. In a way, finishing this book is an important part of my moving forward, and so I need to make it a priority.

Speaking of priorities, I only have one new year resolution. In the words of Cheryl Richardson… EXTREME self care. When I told my father-in-law this, he laughed and asked me why couldn’t I ever do anything in normal measures, why so extreme? 2011 is a year for learning to be kinder to myself, to remember to eat healthy and sleep more. And one more thing. I will publish my book this year, if it’s the last thing I do!

Happy New Year everyone, and may it bring to you everything you need it to.

With gratitude and love

xoxo Leila

Big Dreams

leilasummers — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 23:03:10 +0000

It’s a drizzling November night and I sit on my bed with my laptop and write. After a long break from my book, it feels good to get back into it. Five months ago, I was certain about my future. Tonight I am open to all possibilities. I give up any preconceived ideas and release my dreams like tiny stars out into the expansive sky. I have explained to the girls that although we are not moving to the country right now, we are not giving up our dreams entirely. We are simply releasing them and this opens up endless possibilities. Perhaps my dreams were even too small. The exciting thing, I have told them, is that now anything can happen. And it could even be bigger and better than we could have ever imagined. Maybe I was trying too hard, to make things happen in my time and in my way. Now, there are no limits. They seem to understand this, even at eight and ten years old. My inner voice, which has returned on occasion, keeps saying only one thing – finish your book. So let me get back to it.

Limitations

leilasummers — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 09:32:16 +0000

Yesterday, while sitting quietly on my bed, thoughts began to come to me and I grabbed my journal and began to write. The stream of thoughts included a pertinent question. If there were no money worries at all, for example, if your book was a great success or you had a million dollars in the bank, HOW would that change your current state or even your future dreams? I sat quietly with this incredible thought for a while. It would change everything! I would be free to do exactly as I wanted to do, to follow my heart completely. Then a voice came to me, well that’s what you should be doing anyway.

So now I sit with a different perspective. If there were no financial limitations, what would I be doing? I need some time to think about this. I’ll definitely need my journal, my collage and some quiet time. Then into my inbox tonight came a message with a quote – “The only limits in our life are those we impose on ourselves.” — Bob Proctor

Flip A Coin

leilasummers — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 22:40:25 +0000

Have you ever flipped a coin to make an important life decision?

Since my retreat, I’ve been going around and around in circles in my head. Every few weeks, I was sick with the flu. When I consulted my Louise Hay book, she put this down to mental confusion. No surprise! I struggled with decisions. Do I go ahead and sell my house, move to the country and make my dream happen or do I stay in the city? To make matters even more confusing, after only being home for a month, I landed my dream journalism job based in the city I was planning on leaving. Just before this, the last of my money had ran out and I was left with nothing for the first time. This made it all the more clear that my only option seemed to be to sell my house. But when I got the job, I wondered if that wasn’t a sign to stay. One night I wept in exhaustion and utter confusion. Knowing deep down that I need to stay in the city for now, but not wanting to give up on my dreams or disappoint the girls. I felt deserted and empty. In the turmoil, I begged my intuition to return, I meditated, wrote lists and listened to countless talks on Hay House Radio.

Then the other night I listened to a show by Alan Cohen. He was talking about making decisions based on joy, not fear. Alan suggested flipping a coin. At first I laughed at the idea, but went along with it anyway. I got out a coin and followed his instructions. He said to assign two choices you were struggling with, to heads or tails and then flip the coin. I assigned staying with heads and going with tails. I flipped the coin and it was heads. The next thing, he said to do was to notice your feelings around the answer that came. Was it fear and terror, or peace and joy? Mine was relief. He said that if it is a positive feeling, you know you must go that way, but if it is a negative feeling, you probably need to go the other way. You must listen to your heart and not your head for these answers. This is just a guide to work with, but it definitely helped me. I immediately knew that I needed to stay in the city for now. I felt peaceful for the first time in months and this feeling has stayed with me.

Alan also explained that decisions aren’t permanent. They can change at any time. So for now, I choose to stay here and enjoy my house and my dream job and live each day as it comes. My dream of the country may or may not happen in the way I think it will, but for now, I will simply follow all the little signs, instead of trying to make one huge decision. Alan says that all the little decisions you make, lead you towards the big ones.