Archive for September, 2010

Flip A Coin

September 24, 2010

Have you ever flipped a coin to make an important life decision?

Since my retreat, I’ve been going around and around in circles in my head. Every few weeks, I was sick with the flu. When I consulted my Louise Hay book, she put this down to mental confusion. No surprise! I struggled with decisions. Do I go ahead and sell my house, move to the country and make my dream happen or do I stay in the city? To make matters even more confusing, after only being home for a month, I landed my dream journalism job based in the city I was planning on leaving. Just before this, the last of my money had ran out and I was left with nothing for the first time. This made it all the more clear that my only option seemed to be to sell my house. But when I got the job, I wondered if that wasn’t a sign to stay. One night I wept in exhaustion and utter confusion. Knowing deep down that I need to stay in the city for now, but not wanting to give up on my dreams or disappoint the girls. I felt deserted and empty. In the turmoil, I begged my intuition to return, I meditated, wrote lists and listened to countless talks on Hay House Radio.

Then the other night I listened to a show by Alan Cohen. He was talking about making decisions based on joy, not fear. Alan suggested flipping a coin. At first I laughed at the idea, but went along with it anyway. I got out a coin and followed his instructions. He said to assign two choices you were struggling with, to heads or tails and then flip the coin. I assigned staying with heads and going with tails. I flipped the coin and it was heads. The next thing, he said to do was to notice your feelings around the answer that came. Was it fear and terror, or peace and joy? Mine was relief. He said that if it is a positive feeling, you know you must go that way, but if it is a negative feeling, you probably need to go the other way. You must listen to your heart and not your head for these answers. This is just a guide to work with, but it definitely helped me. I immediately knew that I needed to stay in the city for now. I felt peaceful for the first time in months and this feeling has stayed with me.

Alan also explained that decisions aren’t permanent. They can change at any time. So for now, I choose to stay here and enjoy my house and my dream job and live each day as it comes. My dream of the country may or may not happen in the way I think it will, but for now, I will simply follow all the little signs, instead of trying to make one huge decision. Alan says that all the little decisions you make, lead you towards the big ones.